Written by Faye Bee
|
01 July 2009
Posted in
iNFORMATION PRESS -
Points of View
This is so serious, but so important – please, I am begging you – read and listen.
As young as age 4, even before they really understand, tell your children, and all the children you care for, about not getting in cars with strangers, not taking candy and especially about inappropriate touching.
It is not enough to remind them regularly, you must ask if it has ever happened to them. Do this alone with them, not in a group situation.
Be very specific about the inappropriate areas, long kisses, and anyone wanting the child to sleep with them alone.
The sexual predator, often a relative, will buy gifts for them and sometimes be very generous to the parents. He can start very young with them; even offering to babysit infants. They brainwash, they bribe, and they manipulate, cohere and threaten. The child may come eventually to like or even look forward to the abundant attention and even ask to be with the sexual deviant.
Always be on the lookout for these symptoms:
• Shows sudden changes in behavior or school performance.
• Is always watchful, as though preparing for something bad to happen.
• Is overly compliant, passive or withdrawn.
• Has difficulty walking or sitting.
• Suddenly refuses to change for gym or to participate in physical activities.
• Reports nightmares or bedwetting.
• Experiences a sudden change in appetite.
• Demonstrates bizarre, sophisticated or unusual sexual knowledge or behavior.
• Becomes very secretive and/or isolated.
If your child does tell you of sexual things that have happened to them, do your best to remain calm, no matter how hard it is. Their ability to totally confide in you will depend on you not over reacting.
Please believe them! For the minute number of children who might lie about such things, there are huge numbers that are not believed or never tell, or the parent doesn’t want to acknowledge the truth because of the repercussion it will cause in the family.
If you find out it has happened in your family, or if it was you (no matter how long ago) you must go to the police.
I am not naive about the pain, the mess and the destruction this can cause in a family. No one wants the shame, the questioning, the testifying, and reliving of the pain. The reason it is worth that entire horrible trauma is because if someone else had told or testified, then perhaps it wouldn’t have happened to you.
Please don’t just think of yourself; think of all the other children that could be molested if you remain silent.
For the adults that have the courage to do something it is extremely important that you don’t treat or view the abused child differently. And, for God’s sake do not make the child feel worse by reprimanding them for not telling sooner, for not stopping the abuser, for not refusing to go there. These are just children and the sick sex predator is a pro at brainwashing them.
If you have been molested and want to report it and others try to talk you out of it by saying it is in the past, or you’ll destroy the family, answer this way: “The reason I am doing this is so another child won’t suffer, as I have”.
There are some agencies that can help and may provide support groups that will be by your side through the ordeal. Child Welfare, Child Protective Services and Social Services in your County of residence can assist you in locating support. Also, the ‘211’ Hotline can suggest other private agencies in your area.
Please be silent no more. There are 5 children in my family that could have been saved if the first one had told. It is never too late to stop a predator.
Submitted by:
Faye Bee
Oceano