Experiences Add More To Our Happiness Than Posessions

Written by Ron Colone | 05 March 2009

Along with a few other close friends of mine who are also hitting the same milestone this year, I decided to make, not the birthday, but the entire year special. The way we as a group have elected to do that is by creating as many opportunities as possible to have experiences together, because we know that in the long run the experiences we have will add more to our happiness than things or possessions ever could.

When you have a great experience, it makes you feel alive in a way that material possessions can’t. Now I know, there are some people who will say that, in many cases, it’s the possessions that enable us to have the kind of experiences that make us feel alive. I think here of the person who gets exhilarated by whizzing along curvy roads at high speeds, and for that an awesome sports car or a motorcycle is going to give them the kind of experience they crave. I won’t argue with that, or that furniture, or clothes, or electronics, or tools or instruments offer other people meaningful experiences, for I know that everyone has different ways of getting at it but I think that “doing” and “having” live on in memory in different ways.

I base this strictly on my own experience. For instance, I can remember virtually every shirt and every pair of shoes or boots, every baseball mitt, and certainly every car I ever had, but when I get together with friends and start talking old times, which is one of my favorite things (mostly because there are so many wonderful memories and experiences to draw from, thank God), it’s rare that I might bring up any of those things I owned or possessed, except in the context of something we might have done or experienced together.

That’s another thing about experiences – they usually happen with someone else, and as a result they stimulate or reinforce our sense of connectedness and togetherness and thus satisfy our need for relationship and bonding. In addition to making us feel alive, experiences help us feel like we’re making good use of our time and not wasting it, which is not always the case with our possessions. Take that large screen TV, with its beautifully clear, crisp picture. We enjoy it, no doubt about it, but I can’t tell you how many hours I feel like I’ve wasted lying around flipping through the channels not watching anything in particular. I know, it’s not the TV’s fault, but I never feel like I’ve wasted my time when I go out for a walk or a bike ride, or when we drive up the mountain, or when I get together with people I love. Sure, too often I feel like I don’t have the time to do these things and that often keeps me from doing them, but I never regret going out and gathering impressions in nature or getting out and vitalizing my body and my emotions, or getting together and laughing with people I love.

As most of us are not independently wealthy, we often find ourselves saying, I can’t afford it; I can’t afford to go here or go there, or to do this or that, or to take time away, and of course it makes sense because it’s not like money is no object … but with the occasion of this “significant birthday,” I have given myself permission to spend the money, and spend the time, and gather up a new batch of fresh and exciting experiences. After all, when we’re older and looking back over the years and talking our good old times, we won’t be speaking about the things we had but rather the things we did together—and the measure of a life well-lived will not be judged by our possessions, but by our experiences.

Ron Colone writes a column for the Santa Ynez Valley Voice, has authored two books and is a music promoter. He can be reached via e-mail at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .