Publisher Note

Written by Sandra Marshall

And the swirl deepens...

In honor of all men, at whatever stage of life you are, this issue is dedicated to you. How interesting it has been to look at the men mentioned in this issue through their work and personal stories. From the relationship of a daughter with her step-dad, the message of a spiritual leader, to the creator of fine instruments, a look at Bob’s garden and the story of a safe place for men to discover ones’ self, we get a glimpse of the way some men think, feel and live in the world.

A deeper look shows that men have carved a strong foundation into the pages of Information Press over-the-years. I appreciate the time and energy they have poured into each issue. This month, Michael Morin’s Green Driving article is missing as he’s rides his bike across country in celebration of his 60th birthday. Go Michael!

Working on this issue brought up from the depth of my swirl the expectations I have had of men, especially in the past. Looking back, for most of my life, from little girl to forty year old woman, I tried to feel accepted or change the men in my life. Years of counseling, hours with friends on the phone, readings, buckets of tears, anger and sorrow finally led me to the door of letting go. I desperately wanted a man to make me feel good about myself. It was so much work, the results were short lived; I couldn’t take the hurt anymore.

Finally I realized that he was so messed up why would I want him to fix my life? If he has to get emotionally healthy, then obviously I need to get healthy too. Why do I expect him to fix me? Where did that belief come from? I need to fix this myself.

The realization was actually very simple but the implementation was difficult. Once I discovered that no one can make me feel anything; that I have control over my thinking and could create my own belief system it became easier.

Since then how I viewed men and what I expect of them has changed greatly. All man and woman have stuff. We come from different beginnings and are influenced by people and situations that come in and out of our life. My likes may not be your likes; my traumas may not phase you. Man or woman, we are individual in the way be perceive, in the way we respond, in the way that we feel. There is no right or wrong, it just is. Seldom will we have an opportunity to know the deeper side of another human being. What we see at work may be worlds apart from life at home, with family or alone. Learning to blend and balance, to be our authentic self is the gift waiting to be discovered.

This shift made me responsible and in charged of my own thoughts and feelings. Soon I was free of the old worry, control and manipulation game. As I began to be in control I found I wasn’t hurt or angry as often.

Now I can watch and talk with my sons without the blame game. We talk openly about how they feel and how they fit in the world. I can reflect on the past with my dad with joy and continue on the river of life with my husband as we go in and out of time.
We are pushing the doors of our hearts and minds open to a new day. Information Press is moving to new levels. Join us on the internet during the month.

Until next time.
Happy dad’s day, happy solstice.
Peace to all
Sandra